My grandmother once taught me a valuable lesson in life. One day, she hung a quilt up on a rack and asked me to step way back, and then she asked me a question: “What do you see when you step back from the quilt I am working on?” From a distance, I described what I saw: a large piece of fabric, the colors, and patterns. She then said, “Get up close and tell me what you see.” Up close, I saw something different: it was not a single piece of fabric, but smaller individual blocks of fabric that were hand-sewn together with intricate stitching, which together made the larger quilt. She said, “A quilt is not a single item. It is a collection of a whole lot of smaller fabric blocks that, when stitched together, form the quilt. And the quilt is only as strong as the stitching that binds the blocks together.”
She went on to say that people are like that. They are not a single item, but a collection of life experiences, philosophies, education, journeys, people, places, and things. If you stay far enough back, all you ever see is what is on the outside, and you miss a valuable opportunity to grow. To grow, you have to get close to people and see the individual things that make them who they are: their faith, dreams, desires, successes, failures, love gained and lost, compassion, and values. And by getting close, you allow the things of value to shape you.
But getting close to someone has its risks. Years ago, as I sat through a memorial ceremony for a fallen Soldier, her words came back to me as I watched a team reflect upon the impact their fallen team member had on their individual and collective lives. These were not people who sat back and observed each other from a distance. These were people whose very lives were held in a delicate balance on every mission, and they needed to know, trust, and understand each other. With time, their individual lives became intertwined as they trained, conducted missions, and socialized. With his loss, the realization was clear that the manner in which he chose to live out his life had impacted everyone. His laughter, sense of honor, commitment to the mission, and personal values changed those around him. Like the quilt, his life became connected to the lives of those around him. And their individual lives were better for it.
And that is a risk we take when we let others in. Sometimes, in the most unexpected places, we find exceptional individuals right next to us at the office, at the table, in the classroom, and wherever our lives intersect with those of others. And with the passage of time, some of those lives build strong and valuable connections. Some become friends, mentors, and life partners. Their story, life journey, hard-earned experience, determination, love, inspiration, joy, and strength thread themselves into the fabric of our lives and change us. And it is a risk. But I believe it is a risk worth taking. And I think that, if taken, it makes us stronger and life more vibrant and richer. Valuable life lessons from a Kansas grandmother and her quilt, a valued part of my fabric of life.
Pastor Dennis Hysom